The ache in my side is not going away however, and i think that is part of the problem.  i keep imagining the worst, and given the family background, i think it's a valid concern.  i'm sure once the docs are finished with me, it'll prove to be just a minor irritant but it's really hard to keep my mind from drifting into more scary scenarios.  And when i do drift to them, my thoughts go back to my mother.  It's like a vicious circle; a merry-go-round that i want to get off.  Off, and back to work!  i think that's much better for me.  

     Master has encouraged me in changing the look of the journal again.  (No address changes this time though!)  He says that to Him it seems i just get bored with the look after awhile and therefore should "change away".  So for now i might just explore with backgrounds and see if that satisfies the urge.  Maybe i'm more feminine than i realize, because it seems no matter what colours i choose, the result always seems "girlish".  Am i being sexist here?  Don't mean to be.  Maybe it's just that light hues and tones are more appealing to my eye.  i do know i prefer light coloured walls and bright, weightless material for curtains; with lots of sunshine filtering in.  Yet at night time i prefer a softly lit room; subtle and gentle.  

     Is any of this really important?  Heh.  It's me, so i guess so.