November 19, 2000

It's been a hectic few days.  But i wouldn't have it any other way, and now that i'm feeling better i'm back exercising again.  Who could know that yoga is so strenuous!

     The alpha male child is still with us, still on the futon and it's amazing how messy a place can get with an extra body around.  He's pretty good about picking up after himself, but cleaning is a discouraging task at best when one has to pick up a gazillion things first!  i've taken to hiding out here working, or hiding in the bedroom, writing.  Trying to pretend that the dust bunnies are not organizing a revolt and will turf us from our bed in the middle of the night, very soon.  Ah well, my son is trying to find housing as we speak, so all this shall end soon, and i can practice my "making up care packages" skills instead.

     The things that i long for always amaze me.  i mean, we haven't had the best of weeks when it comes to anything mechanical.  The portable cd player stopped recharging batteries, the fridge decided that the freezer compartment shouldn't freeze very well, and the muffler fell off the car.

     So that's three things.  It'll stop now right?

     The cd player was easy to resolve.  Master handed it to my son who's now just putting in new batteries.  The muffler cost a lot, but it's repaired.  The fridge on the other hand, is a whole other issue.  Especially when it's so close to Christmas and the price of one is a lot more than we expected.

     Well at least for the one i want, that is.  i've always had a passion for the fridges that have their freezer section at the bottom, instead of the top.  It makes sense that the section you access more frequently and every day, should be up at a more comfortable level.  There's nothing worse than having to get down on your knees to dig around for that lost piece of cold pork chop you just know you saved!  Especially as those knees get arthritic. And taking something out to thaw for dinner is usually only a once per day event.  So why not have a fridge that would just generally be more comfortable?

      Why am i so excited about this?  Of course, on a purely intellectual level i know and understand that there are much more important things to think about and get passionate about.  And really ... finding cash for anything right before Christmas can be a national crisis. (Well, in my little part of the world anyway)  So i really shouldn't be viewing this with any level of optimism.  It's darn inconvenient actually.  But is there ever a good time for a major appliance to break down?

     And Master did teach me to look for a positive in each situation.  The fact that i picked the most expensive fridge has nothing to do with it!

     But seriously.  i've got a history of a long line of used things.  And a lot of them i still have and cherish because of whom i received them from.  Yet suddenly i might be presented with the opportunity of actually getting to pick out an item myself ... it won't be my mother's used fridge, or the bargain we got from the hubster's secretary.  It's an opportunity to research for quality and put to the test the theory i've held for a very long time.  And never been able to afford to test.  

      There's one other thing.  Morbid as this sounds, i'm not getting any younger.  And these appliances can last a good twenty years.  Will i last that long?  Hopefully.  But realistically speaking, after one reaches a certain age it's anybody's guess how long we actually will live.  Why shouldn't i spend that time with something i like? 

      Which brings me to why i think i got excited over this.  It's not so much the appliance, but the realization that as we age, we do tend to look at things a lot differently.  For me at least, where once there seemed an endless supply of years available, now i can see a definable limit.  At the age of twenty i didn't think "oh, i've got at least 60 years left!"  Those thoughts never occurred.  Yet now i think "how many do i have left? my parents died young ... will i?"  

      So it's become more important that i live well, and live happy.  To understand exactly what the phrase "stop and smell the roses" means, and then just do it.  

      Early Sunday morning meanderings, and a hot cup of tea ... perfect :)

PS.. today's quote sums it all up nicely i think