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June
28, 2000
Heh!
So much for my vow of writing every day. i'm glad i
didn't tell anybody before now. Life just
keeps happening ... and i'm not complaining.
i am still suffering from ability anxiety though. i
haven't even looked at the two "how-to" books i
borrowed from the library, on writing, and reading those
almost always puts me back into the right frame of
mind. But i am hoping this feeling is just a
temporary thing and i'll be back in the swing of things
again, soon!
my daughter may be visiting again next week. That
always puts me in a good frame of mind. And if all
goes well, i'll have the double treat of Master's daughter
visiting with us as well. 
We went out to
a fet party last night. A friend of ours was
celebrating a birthday, which meant that some people i
haven't seen in awhile made a special effort to go
out. i enjoyed the chance to catch up with them and
their bits of offered news.
i've always
enjoyed "people watching", and going to one of
these functions is like eye-candy for me. i have to
be careful not to be blatantly obvious that i'm
staring. But the clothes! Okay, and the
outrageousness of some of the people too. i just
cant help staring. Picking out things i like,
marveling at the nerve some people have, watching the
dancers strutting their stuff. Grinning at the
gnome-like man half buried under a stage platform with
only his upper body exposed, getting the best view of the
feet he obviously desires. (Later in the evening he
was treated by being allowed to fondle and lick Miss R's
lovely feet. Miss R has wicked nipple pinching
fingers by the way!)
Master decided to
use the spanking bench this time. i'd gone to the
washroom, and upon my return to our table, noticed He
wasn't sitting there. The others nearby said
"pay attention j, where's your Master?" i
looked in the direction they were nodding to, and there He
was, up on the stage where the bench always rests, His
arms crossed and that "look" in His eye. i
knew exactly where i was supposed to be.
The usual
deliciousness ensued. i was a bit short in the leg
for the bench, so had to slide my pelvic bone just
slightly off-edge. The advantage for Master however,
was better access to the more tender parts of me.
(wince!) And believe me, more than once, i
jumped. Again i noticed that He's using more stingy
things with me lately, and i think He also used a rope flogger
with knotted strands, that we made a short while
ago. At least that's the toy i chose to curse at
during one particularly sensitive moment.
i love when He
brings His head down close to mine. And on the
bench, it somehow seemed more intimate, more like how we
are when scening in bed. He got in close, and
i raised my head to nuzzle against His cheek, one time
risking a slight nibble to His ear. If i could
have stretched the restraints to get closer, i would
have. Another time, He was behind me, pressing
against my butt, and i was pushing back. The music
was very loud, so i doubt He heard some of my moans, but i
just couldn't keep them in. It was all so incredibly
sensual for me.
A few other nice
things about the bench was the fact that my hands didn't
feel numb (like on the cross) and i didn't have to
"get down" after the scene was over. i was
already lying in a safe position to float away in.
When i did come back enough to be moved, He held me close,
kissing me and then wrapping me in His leather vest.
Safe and protected and loved. i kept the vest on for
the rest of the night, enjoying the fact that its
large size makes me feel like an underdressed
orphan. The ankle and wrist cuffs were left on
me as well, the wrist ones latched together to restrict my
movements. They remained that way until we got home.
i'm always amazed
at the energy i seem to have after a scene. i'm
lethargic while i float, but then once some of that has
passed, it feels like i'm on a high. Yet, once we
did come home and snuggle into bed, sleep came very
quickly.
And today, i'm
just nicely calm.
Yum.
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