February 21, 2001

Where'd the last week go?  i keep jotting notes down to myself to put in here and then when i get home i'm so busy doing other things i just don't get to the journal.  Not good.

     We had dinner with Lisa and Frank on the 15th and as always, enjoyed ourselves immensely. i swear she is shrinking right before our eyes and as she's doing that, she's getting younger.  And we have such a nice time with the two of them. It's just so neat to have formed a friendship because of our mutual journaling.  Very cool indeed.

     After the dinner Himself and i went on to a fet night.  Great location and lots of space - unfortunately they hadn't turned the heat on so it took awhile to be brave enough to take off my coat.  And i don't think i'll ever get used to the wankers that show up to these things.  Call me crazy, but unless it's scene specific, i really don't think people should be allowed in the door with full hoods on.  It gives me that eerie, creepy-crawly feeling when i see them on the sidelines peering out from the eye holes - lechers!

     Our scene was a bit different that night and put me into a strange headspace.  Master used a lot of the stingy toys - not the thuddy ones i usually prefer but probably better ones for me in the long run.  He also put the hood on me which was a first in public and allowed me the freedom to withdraw from the crowd.  i started to cry at one point - i'm not sure why - and i was glad people weren't able to see my face.  There were so many sensations - His biting my back sensuously until i pushed my body back against Him - then back to the sting and then His strong hands pulling at me.

     i remember thinking, when the scene was over and i was kneeling on the floor with His foot pressed against my back; "where's the blanket?"  i'd started to shiver from the cold again and that's when it occurred to me that this particular fet night was different from most in that other nights are generally a smaller crowd who know each other and are more involved in aftercare - helping each other out.  i think i prefer that.   

     i'm at this workplace for another 6 weeks.  They asked me to stay longer and that's okay, although the office politics are starting to surface.  Messy stuff.  i did shorten my day somewhat, by asking to change my lunch to a half hour instead of the full hour - which means i can stay in bed longer in the morning.  That's a great bonus!  More time to snuggle with Himself.

     i'll admit to feeling a bit overwhelmed though.  i'm used to having lots of quiet time and that's not happening anymore.  When i'm at home i want to spend the moments with Master, yet i know i have to schedule some of those moments for myself in order to get things done.  And so i do that and still feel like i haven't had 10 minutes to just aimlessly cruise the 'net or whatever.  And then i hear Him in the kitchen working on dinner and i just want to be in there with Him.  Confusing it does get!

     Ah well, it'll sort itself out as it should.