April 22, 2001

we went to a play party last night and i'm not sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing.  i do know i had a great time and wish i could do it all over again.

     At first it seemed like the atmosphere was too bright and the room a bit chilly for scening, and in fact it was getting late before we did do anything.  Master was pretty much ready to come home, but i think He must have noticed i was disappointed that we'd not done anything (well okay, i whined a bit) and so made one of His snap decisions that always have a steely determination behind them.  It was a scene i wanted eh?  Yikes.

     Next thing i knew i was being stripped of my jacket and dress and tied to a suspension bar.  'Course at this point the little attitude devil that lurks just below the surface of my brain responded with an "oh yeah? well this isn't going to be easy for You Mister!" 

     Yee haw, let the games begin!  The scene very quickly became a struggle of power - the exact type of scene that i absolutely love.  There's never any doubt about the outcome - i always end up as a happy puddle of joy - but the getting there is fun.  Not to mention the fact that i seem to be regaining my capacity for taking whatever He can dish out.  At least it seemed that way last night, and i certainly hope so since it lends more of a challenge to these types of scenes. 

     i often wonder what exactly it is that He's thinking as He's confronted with a wiggling, struggling, responsive submissive.  i know a lot of other Dominants prefer the sub to stand still, thank you very much.  i can't imagine doing that - it would feel so stoic to me.  And how do you hold back expressing when you are in the middle of something you love doing?  Or having done to you - as the case may be.  

     So what's the bad part?  Well now i'm finding i am craving more.  i want to crawl back into bed right now as i'm writing this - and feel the sting again.  Feel His large hands on my butt.  Not an option since His daughter is coming over, so i'll be spending the day feeling like a cat in a cage. 

     Speaking of cages, there was a large dog-type one there as well last night.  i truly, truly want to try that one day.  i'm not sure why it intrigues me so much, but it does seem to go along with all the other desires in my head about exploring some levels of humiliation play.  And where's all that coming from?

     i feel like i'm one large erogenous zone right now.  And to try to distract myself, i decided to try writing another one hundred word story - which did prove to be successful, but also managed to work me up even further.  i need to have done to me exactly what i just wrote about, damnit!

     It's going to be a long day trying to keep my legs crossed.

     Is it D/s politically correct to beg for wax play tonight?

     .... please Sir ....