August
13, 2001
Himself decided to break in the new bedroom on
Saturday. Actually He'd hoped to do it on Friday
night, but after a long dinner complete with wine, and a
long day, and a nice walk ... even though the toys were
nicely laid out and ready ... neither of us had the energy
to do more than snuggle up and fall asleep. The next
day however, His energy was more than a little bit back!
i'd had the leisurely morning and equally leisurely shower
before i found myself cuffed and tied to the beams.
(One major advantage of moving the bedroom to the old
living room - i love those beams!) Before long i was
feeling the stings and caresses of a lot of different toys
- and the equal stings and caresses of His hands. It
all caught me off guard at first - since the renos and my
working and all the other things in life, we haven't been
scening as often and i was afraid i wouldn't be able to
take much. And more afraid of disappointing
Him.
And desperately trying not to look down at the extra
pounds i've gained over the past months. Try as much
as i like, i can't seem to get over this obsession with my
body falling apart. i also can't seem to get my
motivation twisted around the idea of doing anything about
it. i keep thinking "okay this is it, today i
exercise." And then i don't of course - instead
i get busy with the gazillion projects and pray He still
loves me just the way i am.
i
know He does of course. i also know it annoys the
hell out of Him when i kvetch on about it instead of just
accepting myself gracefully. So i'm trying to stop
that as well. Just venting about it in here.
Heh. Which He reads. It's a no win situation
i'm thinking. It doesn't help that He still has a
perfect body that would put most 20 year olds to shame.
And now my skitzy mind goes back to the scene. It
was wonderful. More than a bit wonderful. It seemed
He was hesitant with me at first - like He was getting
back into the swing of things (pun intended). But it
wasn't long before the familiar bite of a knife was
running over my nipples and between my thighs. And
not long before the familiar bulge from His body was
pressed against my back. i love that part.
We
always seem to fluctuate between extreme intensity to
softer, flowing movements - sometimes together - sometimes
at odds with each other and that makes it incredibly
sensual plus interesting all at the same time. i
think it's part of what makes us work so well
together. That "thing" that clicks for
us. Sort of like last weekend when, during the open
house, i came upstairs for some reason. i went into
our bedroom and noticed on the bed a soft piece of
lingerie with a long piece of the red rope He uses to tie
me with curled over it, and a wrist cuff lying
beside. Strong and soft all at once. i stood
looking at that picture for a long while before going back
downstairs. It was so 'us'.
We've discovered one advantage to having the bed under the
beams now. When the scene is over, this subbie gets
to collapse on it. Perfect. We didn't
sleep right away - we were hungry for each other's body in
a big way - but when we did crash, we were gone for a long
time. i remember at one point thinking i was
rousing, only to find myself out cold for at least another
40 minutes. i love to float like that.
Y'know ...
i'm really glad the renos got done and the house is so
lovely. But i think i'm even more glad they are in
fact done, and we can just enjoy each other again.
i think we
both needed this.
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