November 11a, 2001

      i have landed feet first into the corporate world.  Gawd help me.  It's turning out to be a much more foreign environment that i had expected.  And wouldn't you know, one of my first assignments is to organize and set up some sort of inventory control, which of course involves data bases and spreadsheets.  Which are something i know nothing about.  As Himself's daughter would say ... "Sigh".

     But i've just spent the afternoon with the big guy, working in Microsoft Access, and i think we may have come up with something that will work just fine.  i sure hope so.  Because in spite of the fact that i'm completely overwhelmed, i really kind of like it there.  Everyone has been very friendly and helpful, although way too busy to give me any training, so i've been winging the learning stuff for the most part.  i've also come to the conclusion that being shy and retiring is not going to work there - i'm going to have to make myself be more assertive or they are going to stomp all over me hugely.  i won't survive the 3 months probation if that happens.  

     And of course i caught Himself's cold.  i spend the entire year being healthy and the very week i need to be, i'm suffering from a cough and a throat so sore it feels like someone shoved a rasp down it.  Ick.  i had to fight to keep my eyes open while getting home every night.  By nine i was ready for bed, but too stubborn to go.  Ah well.  This week should be better.

     My goal of losing weight got sabotaged as well.  The very first day they presented a birthday cake to one of the guys there and dragged me into the festivities.  Everyone was introducing themselves and a plate full of cake was placed in my hands.  i had to be polite!  Okay and so the cake was pretty tasty.

     The next day i learned that they have 'tasty Tuesdays'.  What this means is that the first Tuesday of every month the company supplies a snack.  This time it was chocolate and vanilla pudding, and fruit cups.  How could i resist? On Thursday, one of the new guys brought the temp girl and me two chocolate bars.  On Friday i had to attend the obligatory breakfast meeting, complete with donuts and bacon'n eggers.  (english muffin, bacon and egg) 

     Himself brought home (from the tailor) the recently let out skirts.  Sigh again. 

     But seriously.  The place is majorly busy and the day just flies by.  i love that.  i love the idea that i'll be so busy i won't get a chance to get bored.  And i will be using some of the skills i do have and enjoy as well.  In fact, on Friday i was asked to put together a powerpoint presentation, needed before i went home.  Yikes! The pressure!  And yummy, the challenge and the satisfaction when i got it right the first time.

     i'm sure there will be frustrations.  i'm sure there will be office politics to sort out.  And i'm pretty sure i can handle them.  Or i'll learn how to very quickly.

     So i asked for another task this week.  i don't know what i was thinking, since there's been no time for anything but the new job, but lucky me, it seems Himself already had that figured out and waited till Friday to give it to me.  Although it still was a spur of the moment idea i'm sure.

     We were in the kitchen prepping dinner and i was being playful. He'd tell me to do something or ask for something and i'd say 'no'.  Hence the task - a writing assignment explaining why i say no.

     Except i don't know why i do that.  Well i do maybe.  It's probably an attention seeking thing that i'm mostly not aware of, but i do know it's also just me being playful. i like to watch Himself react - to grab a wooden spoon and smack my butt.  i like how we both end up laughing.  It keeps me from being an automaton sub - yes Sir, no Sir - with no spirit.  

     It's probably also an attempt to keep the D/s alive in our relationship.  When those days go by with no orders or requests from Him, and i'm feeling that lack.  When i playfully say no, and He imposes His will - then i feel like i've been balanced again.  And sometimes i think i need that power balance more than He does.  

     And i suppose i say no simply because i don't want Him to become bored with me.  If i was totally complacent and yielding, i think He'd soon tire of that.  i think maybe He likes a bit of fire and challenge in everything He sees in life - and that includes His partner.  i don't think i could ever be that demure anyway - there's too much spirit in me.  

     So.  Maybe He gets annoyed sometimes when i say no, but hopefully never bored.  And now i've done my task and blended it into a post - so all is well with the world again.  

     i'm gone to ask for another one ...     

                

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