September 12, 2000

Master had me wear something called a day cuff, the first day of the convention i mentioned in the last post.  What this is, is a gold-ish type chain (it's in prototype testing mode right now, so no expensive stuff) that has a clasp on each end and a small ring about 7 inches into the length (from the ends) that the clasp can be attached to.  When placed on the wrists it looks like a bracelet on each except that the wrists are connected by the balance of the chain.  Sort of like this:

0----------0

      Now, if you undo one side ... the chain can be wrapped around the wrist that still is 'cuffed' (giving the appearance of a many chained bracelet; handy in a fancy restaurant), or it can be wrapped around a chair and refastened.  Or a banister, or a grocery cart handle, or your Master's belt buckle.  Whatever the situation, or one's Dominant, calls for.  Because it's a fine chain it's not a true restraint in the physical sense of the word.  But who wants to break something that one's Master/Mistress has given them?  So the effect is more psychological.  A mind fuck

       There are still some design issues to be worked on, but i must admit that wearing it that day did wonderful things to my head.  All day i was constantly aware of Him, of us, of who we are.  It was probably one of the most D/s things we've done; it affected me that much.  It took mere moments for Him to do, and for me to comply.  He calmly pulled the chain from His pocket as He was driving me to the convention and told me to put it on.  That's it.  And that's all it took to shift my mind into a very good space that remained the entire day.

      i'm finding that this is the sort of thing that will dig deeper inside my psyche than a lot of the bdsm lifestyle.  Sure, when i see the toys come out, my stomach contracts and i feel my body temperature rising in anticipation.   But it's the cuffs that float my mind first.  When i feel the leather of our scene cuffs and feel the constricted-ness, i also feel His assertion.  The day cuff idea is achieving the same goal, while allowing the reality of daily life to carry on.  

      Sometimes i wish i were more like some submissives i've spoken to, who are content to wait 'till the next time the toys come out, not wanting the constant reminders.  But i feel like i'm floundering without them.  i think that's part of the reason why wearing the collar to bed has become so important to me.  There are many nights when it's so incredibly hot in this apartment that i'm not sure i can bear the leather around my neck, yet after a few days of not having been told or requested to do things, i need the reassurance of that collar.  

      i know for many, being told 'don't wear underwear today' or 'wear that dress' or even things like what the Dominant expects accomplished during that day ... this drives the submissive crazy.  Yet i crave it.  

      Don't get me wrong though.  Sometimes Master will say 'do this, or that' and i'll grumble because i'm in the middle of something and have to stop.  But i wouldn't have it any other way.  It suits me, and Him, and us, and how we are.  In fact, most times i ask for more.  

      Nicely of course :)