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November
12, 2000
The exercising saga continues. It doesn’t hurt
as much as it did which i am very grateful for! i’ll
reluctantly admit however that while i’m still just a
beginner, i am feeling a bit better. It’s
not so much a sense of fitness or weight loss or even much
toning yet, but rather a loosening of bones ... meaning my
joints. i’m not sure that’s a good description,
but it’s how i tried to explain it to Master.
"my bones feel looser", is exactly what i
said. And He seemed to understand. Well, He
didn’t laugh at me anyway, so that’s a good
thing. i think He approves of this sudden need to
get my body moving.
i’m back to worrying about
money though. Going to a gym isn’t cheap and i’m
trying to figure out how i’m going to pay for it.
Having my son here has drained most of the money i’d
been saving for Christmas and for insurance, and we’ve
managed to kill a good portion of the monthly budget as
well. Master is a wonderful man and i’m beginning to
suspect has the patience of a saint, given how well He’s
handling having another alpha male sleeping on His couch
for this long. Supporting two extra people (even if one of
them is here only for a few weeks) is not something i
believe He was bargaining on when i moved here last
December. Having food and running water is more
important that classes at the gym.
And yet, last night when i
casually mentioned the fact that this self-employed
business sure seems to be slow in taking off ... matter of
fact, no darn money is coming in at all ... He blithely
brushed away my concerns. "It takes time
..." He said, along with assurances that others have
done this long before me. And been successful. i
sure would like that to happen for me. Soon!
The anxiety is feeding my worrywart personality and i
detest that.
Maybe the yoga will help.
Maybe i should start chanting "aaawwwwmmmmm". Or
is that aaahhhhhmmmmm ?
i’m losing my brain.
PS: i liked the following quote
and decided to place it here instead of at the side.
"I loathe the expression 'What makes him tick' . . . A person
not only ticks, he also chimes and strikes the hour, falls
and breaks and has to be put together again, and sometimes
stops like an electric clock in a thunderstorm."
--James Thurber
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