December 21, 2000

It's nearly Christmas and i'm remembering 20 years ago, being hugely pregnant and impatient for my baby to arrive!  He decided to wait another four days however, and was born Christmas morning.  Heh! When i give presents i do it right!

     i remember the high of becoming a mom for the first time.  i was so proud of myself.  my self esteem rose by a gazillion degrees that day.  Here was something that *i* did ... *i* carried that child for all those months, then *i* delivered him.  No-one could interfere in this process; not the hubster telling me i was wrong nor my mother telling me i had to do it this way or that.  Even the doctor stood back and let me do exactly what i needed to, in order to push that child out into this world.  No drugs, no cutting and done in less than five hours.  i was very proud of me.  And the euphoria carried me along for months.  

     Of course in retrospect, i am fully aware that women have been doing this pregnancy thing from the beginning of mankind.  And doing it very well for the most part.  But up to this point in my life, i'd been constantly told i was wrong - or not good enough at things i tried - so producing something as magnificent as a baby human was overwhelmingly good for my ego.  

     Twenty years later and i still feel pretty satisfied with myself.  i know there are a whole lot of other accomplishments out there, that people do and find huge satisfaction in.  And that's good.  Someday i hope to add a few new things on my own list to equal that day long ago.  i've gotten close a few times.  i intend to keep trying.

 

     my daughter comes into town today, to spend a week with Himself and i and enjoy Christmas with us.  i'm looking forward to seeing her (although i don't know what we are going to feed her since she's SUCH a picky eater!).  It's been a few months though so i'm looking forward to the time and the catching up with each other.  And she's bringing along pictures of herself in her school semi-formal dress (something i miss being around for - those young lady dress up days.)

     Himself is going to get Herself (His mother) and bring her here for Christmas eve through to boxing day morning, and of course little T (daughter) will be here as well.  Boxing day we are gone to R's house (brother) for dinner.  So all in all, it's going to be a nice family thing happening this year, and i have to admit i'm looking forward to it a lot.  

     i'll even have a 'mom' here on Christmas Eve.  i really like that part.  i guess i'm still just an old softy at heart and like the traditions.  

     i gave Master two new floggers for Christmas.  And yes i know it's not 'the day' yet, but given that we will have all the family around i didn't think it appropriate fare for Him to be unwrapping in front of them!  So i gave them to Him this morning and it was fun to watch!  Also good timing since we are off to a play party tonight. (No! i am not taking along the daughter! she's left strict orders of having free access to the computer instead.)

     What i didn't expect (after i'd carefully draped the floggers over His computer chair) was to see Him come out of the bedroom as naked as the day He was born.  i alternated between gazing at His tender bits and watching for the reaction on His face when He discovered them.  So both of us got a bit of a surprise then!

     What a view.  Two favourite, yummy things only inches away from me.  Floggers - tender bits.

      Life is good.