September 6, 2001

     And i'm supposed to like working ... why???  

     i'm just plain exhausted - trying to keep up with everything and trying to take care of all the other things that didn't get done in the past few months because the person who was supposed to do the work ... didn't like the work.  So now it's a mad dash to try to catch up.

     And a job interview i went on last week didn't go well.  The final report back from them was that i was not confident enough.  Sheesh.  So who isn't nervous in an interview?  i know i didn't stand up and rah, rah, sis boom bah myself - but i've got the credentials!  Read my (bad word) resume people!  Do you want a cheerleader who's stuck on herself or somebody who bloody well knows, and can do, the work?  In fact, knows more than what the job was asking for in the first place!  That's two of them now - same type of work and same sort of response.  Because i won't adhere to braggadocio, i'm somehow found deficient.  What a wank.

     One thing i mentioned to Himself last night though - of all the job interviews i've had, i've never had a bad report from the male hiring personnel (and no it's not because of a stunning figure sort of thing - i don't have one of those).  It just seems like men ask more realistic questions.  Like "can you do the job?"  instead of "tell me about the last time you had a quarrel with a co-worker ... "  Huh?  Well first of all you want me to say i'm bitchy?  Then, answer it in the way you want to hear it?  How the heck am i supposed to know the right answer?

     "Well, my co-worker was having a bad day and was a bit tense.  i just did a lot of compassionate listening."  That would be a good answer for the loving and motherly female.  But i've only met this female for 2.5 seconds.  How do i know what she's like?  Maybe she's majorly aggressive and that answer would have her labeling me as a wuss.  Maybe she really wants to hear; "I sneered at her and left her alone in her own misery.  I had a job to do."

     Craziness.

     Sorry.  i don't mean to be putting my fellow female genitalia friends down here.  But male interviewers are just easier.  A lot more pragmatic.  "Can you do the job?"  "Yes."  "Why?"  "It's right there in my resume - i've got tons of experience."  "Is the money enough?" "yes."  "Good, can you start on monday?" "yes."  "Good.  See you at nine on monday."

     Badda bing and done.  None of this nonsense - 'what's your expected salary range' bull.  The more definitive "this is what we can pay, take it or leave it" approach. None of the "tell me why you are wonderful and would fit into our karmic space" stuff.  Just nuts and bolts... here's the job, we need it done.  Perfect.

     i think i'm going to look for only male interviewers in the future.

     On the upside, Himself has been stunning.  The first day He used the switch on me before leaving for work... yesterday it was His bare hands.  And He's been giving me rides and cooking stunning meals and tonight took me out for dinner.  It certainly makes the long hours of hectic pace and typing, typing, typing, then dashing to every corner of the office to do other things, a lot more worthwhile.

      i'm looking forward to our D/s night this week :)

     After the last few days though, i'll probably need a nap before starting.

     And i was supposed to like working... why?

                

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