September 21, 2001

     Seven days since my last post and i'm still trying to mull over in my mind all the events that happened on the 11th day of this month.  And trying to get along ... maintain some sense of normalcy while the rest of the world decides what is going to happen next.

      Call me an innocent - but the best i can come up with in response is; "i don't understand ... "

     i don't understand the passions that enable horrible things to happen - bombs and murder and suicide and retaliation - and all in the name of a various number of unseen spiritual entities.  i can't see why it's not okay to have your spirit of choice and be left alone with it, him, her or whatever.  i guess i'm pretty naive.

     i'm happy to stay that way.  Social activism overwhelms me.

     Himself told me of a journalist who has been condemned lately for not writing about 'world events'.  The journalist has been penning more personal things - today things.  Like stuff i should be writing about as well - example: the fact that the first male child to be born on my father's side since the birth of his first son, 48 years ago, was born the same day as his father.  Did that make sense?  Okay.  Trying again.  my brother and his wife just had a baby boy, born the same day as my brother's birthday.  September 9.  Very cool.  And if my father were alive he'd be more than a tad excited.

     my younger brother has the family name of course, as do i since i've reverted back to it sans divorce.  But our parentage is speculative at best, so i'm assuming that this new baby (older brother who is clone of my father hence no doubt to parentage) is the latest in a family line that we thought had already ended.  Everybody kept having girls!  And back in those days, a girl did NOT keep her maiden name.  

     What else?  Well we had to send the cat to live with my son.  Apparently the stress of hovering felines at every available window got the best of him, and in a territorial rage he decided to mark his territory by his version of spraying.  Which in his case was peeing, since he'd been 'fixed' years ago.  (This sounds dangerously close to the pissing contest happening out in the real world *sigh*)  On the upside, my son lives in a basement apartment and doesn't have a proliferation of furry beasts at every window.  The cat has calmed down - my son has company now - Himself is not stressing - and everybody seems happy.  It's much better than the alternative, which was to let the cat outside to fight without claws and get smooshed by a car.

     Ah.  And how could i forget shimmer's visit?  It was perfect, if somewhat alcohol sodden.  Heh. Who am i kidding?  We hugged and hugged, then sat down for a long gossip while pouring ourselves into a bunch of wine.  A whole bunch of wine.  Himself said it was like witnessing two rescued victims from a desert, the way we inhaled the first bottle of white, while the men folk calmly observed.  Then we progressed to dinner, more gossip, and bottle of red wine.  And another bottle.  We were sharing at this point though!

     It was just so damn good to see each other again that i suppose we got carried away.  It might be a good idea to either visit more often or not drink together during our once per year visit however, since the next day i was incapable of doing anything.  In fact, i had a hangover to beat all hangovers and then developed a red wine migraine to finish me off.  i don't ever remember having one quite so bad.  A mere sip of water past my lips sent me reeling into the washroom. To the point that i was getting a bit worried ... especially since this was until 4 p.m. the next day!  Going to work wasn't even a remote possibility.

     Speaking of which - the never ending temp job is going on even longer now.  They'd called me back for a few weeks.  Yesterday i got the word that they need me on an indefinite basis ... or at least until the end of November - but of course there's people going on maternity soon and yadda yadda.  i'm really glad i love it there.

     But back to the recovery of wine over indulgence.  i haven't spoken to shimmer to find out how she was, but i do know i spent a very dry week after our adventure.  Not even a sip of wine with dinner, that Himself and i like to do.  Combine that with all the rest of life, and sleep has been difficult at best.  Sometimes being a grownup really bites.  Too many nightmares ... too many things to worry about.  

     i think it's really interesting that now that nasty things are happening in the world, all the dreams about my mother are coming back.  i glance down at my suddenly growing fingernails (wishing it were my hair!) and am instantly transported to all those hours and hours as a child, scratching her back on demand, when all i wanted to do was go outside to play with my friends.  

     So yes, all that's happening 'out there' keeps coming back to haunt me.  In spite of my best efforts to get on with life until the next crisis ... i'm not much more successful than the next guy.  But at least i'm trying.

     i think that's healthier.

                

Note:  pics below are clickable for navigation