October 3, 2001

     i survived the interview.  In fact, i did so well, that they sent me off to HR for a follow up.  They liked me a lot!

     HR hated me.  Yep.  Another female.  It started out fairly well, even if i was left to wait 15 minutes past the scheduled appointment time, sent down two floors, and then called back up again.  But still.  We said hello, shook hands.. exchanged pleasantries.  She said it would be short, since i'd already been interviewed by the people i'd actually be working with and they liked me.  She just wanted to discuss my resume.

     By the time we were finished, she basically had torn my resume into little chunks of mistakes and was giving me recommendations on what should be in there for future job interviews.  Right. Well we know where this is going don't we?  She said that had she received the resume without the recommendations i'd already gotten from others in the company, it would not have passed further than the garbage.  i mentioned that i'd actually presented the resume as recommended by the previous interviewer.  She intimated that this person knew nothing.. That she was a mere assistant.  

     She wasn't listening as i attempted to explain the job positions and what i did.  She shut down.  She wasn't even going to shake my hand goodbye.  i stuck my hand out and forced the issue.

     This is all so nuts.  i am qualified.  i know i can do this position.  my resume is actually quite good and shows a lot of diverse ability.  But on the whim of someone who isn't feeling good, and was placed second in the hiring process instead of first which is the norm, hence ticking her off ... i get the brunt of it?

     And then i struggle with the 'what's wrong with me's'.  Or maybe it's just because i'm more used to small towns and the way hiring is done there.  This city however, is quickly revealing its dog-eat-dog attitude.  And i don't like playing the game.  

     Just to polish the day off nicely, i leave the building, my head down .. my mind flying all over the place, then turn to go back to catch my ride.  And turn the wrong way.  Fifteen minutes later i finally stop seething long enough to realize i am way far from where i am supposed to be.  i stomp.  i fume.  i turn back, watching for a payphone.  Are there payphones in this city??? Not any i can find ... which sets me off on the tangent of not even getting with the times enough to actually own a cell phone.  How the heck do i expect to work in a 35 story building if i don't even own a cell phone?  i stomped some more.

     There was a good part to this day.  Shockers.  But on Master's insistence i'd worn the 'little power suit' that gives me confidence, even though i'd already worn it once this week.  (For the first interview.)  And apparently it looks nice on me, or maybe it was my stomp, but there sure were a lot of men turning to watch me in my progress.  Heh.  One pissed off redhead in a pleated skirt seems to be an interesting sight for some of them.  

     And when i got back to where i was supposed to be, i went to the public washroom to brush my hair back in place.  Lo and behold, what should be resting on my jacket but a ladybug.  i was taught never to brush a ladybug off - that if they fly away on their own, it is good luck.  So i stood there in that washroom, and actually laughed and talked to it for a second, waiting.  And calmed.  

     Maybe it won't be this job.  But surely there's someone who'll be smart enough to realize i have potential.

     Bet it's a man doing the interviewing.

      It's days later.  The results from the interview are in.  In fact i was subjected to a third interview and then the reference check. And i keep going back to the above experience in my mind and wondering if i read things all wrong.. Was this woman genuinely trying to help?  Be sincere?  Who can know?  i just know i don't want to relive it.

     But i did get the job.  And it's an incredibly good job and of course now i'm worried that i won't do well enough and they will sack me in three months.  i mean, i didn't even realize what it was i was being interviewed for in the first place.  i "thought" it was for your basic filing type thing - turns out i'm to be the admin assistant for a bunch of vp's!  

     i got the job.  me.  i went in there and told them i could do it and they trusted what i said.  i know deep down i'm basically a good employee and i'll kill myself doing all of it right - but it still seems pretty incredible that i managed to make them understand that.  

     And call me crazy, but i think some of the superstition things helped.  i know Himself's mother was saying a prayer.  i found a few more ladybugs and talked nicely to them.  A close friend blessed the threshold of our front door with a loonie, carefully placed upon the entrance and generously covered with salt.  i won't let anyone move it from it's roost.  Hey.  It worked, okay?

     So am i a grownup now?  i am about to have a pension plan. And i now own a cell phone, much to Himself's dismay.   Scary, scattered thoughts.

                

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